You can never know your parents the way that other people do. Dolly Parton
I spent the last few months collecting stories about dad so that in a way we can still get to know him, laugh at him, & learn from him. Almost like he’s immortalized through storytelling, unearthed through conversation. Let us never stop smoking stogies & sharing stories about the man who lived a life worth talking about.
Love you guys very much. Enjoy.
Coyote season 2014, I almost think that jacked your dad up more than deer season. He had this thing about killing coyotes… I swear, this guy would rather shoot a giant coyote than a buck. Dammit, he was not going to let any coyotes get to his deer if he could help it. I think it was the second year, he got these huge tracks for the Polaris Ranger. It was like he thought “we’re not messing around this year.” I can still hear him say, “Don’t mix up activity with results.” We were all on radios and he would come pick us up… I think he enjoyed driving around & checking on everybody even more than hunting. He picked me up and we were bombing through the field of snow behind the Ferrantino’s house. Your dad leaning over the steering wheel, smiling but so serious, and I grasping onto the handlebar. I loved riding in the Polaris with him bombing through those snow drifts. With him, everything was always bigger and better than ever. I didn’t realize it at the time, but those were the best times.
Jordan McConnell
Been thinking about what story to tell for a while now and I’m definitely overwhelmed by choices. At first, I was thinking about how he used to slam his car full of us cousins and hit up every drive-thru on Claire Ave, or when we were in the caymans and I had a ton of trouble with my ears all week. He lied to my mom’s face and took me to the wall the same day as my flight home. Going over the coral head with him toward a huge open ocean, watching him grab a lobster with his hands, or him pointing at his watch for me to check my gages and setting me up to notice that we were right at 100′ of depth are all vivid memories that I hope to never lose. He really went above and beyond for us all the time. It’s the only way he knew how to do it.
The story that sticks with me most though is when Mikey and I wanted to play paintball and no one else was really into it. Except for your dad. He set up guns as quickly as he could and told us the rules of the game. It was 2 v 1. He would start by the asparagus patch and we would start on the slope between your barn and the lake. I was excited when we started. I never saw him for a second but was instantly pinned down behind a narrow tree. He was absolutely pelting this thing and it wasn’t much wider than me. I got rattled and threw my gun off to the side thinking he would realize I was giving up but he also wasn’t ever really one for subtlety. I got really upset and might have even shed a tear or two. Your brother was only a couple of trees away and helped me get my shit together and finish the game but I’ll never forget feeling so stuck behind that tree with paintballs whizzing by and realizing at some point he wasn’t gonna take it easy on me. It was on me to get my shit together and try to cover your brother. I’m sure he mopped the floor with us and I got shot right after composing myself but I think about being behind that tree a lot.
There’s no substitute for that experience and that lesson and that’s what your dad was all about. Those once-in-a-lifetime moments just seemed to follow him around and I’m so thankful that I got to put up with him.
Kyle Young
His Smile. His laugh. His BIG personality.
He taught me how to shoot a shotgun at the Clays for Kids fundraiser. He really wanted me to be successful. He let me use one of his guns, as if it was gonna make me a better shot. In true Randy fashion he was so careful and thoughtful. I always felt so protected by him.
The first day of diving in the Caymans, Randy made sure he descended with me. It was uncharacteristically cloudy in the water that day. We kept descending, and descending, and descending. I panicked. I motioned to take me up. He of course did. When we got to the surface he said the waves had pushed us over the wall. Again, he wanted me to be safe and successful. Of course the Caymans trip as a whole will go down in history as one of my all time favorite adventures! The generosity toward my family, Kevin and Amanda and their families was incomprehensible . Wow!
He used to call me “Kid.” It always made me feel so youthful and happy. He was a charmer that one!
Dr. Youngs
Gonna take us back to a young man, age 14, hadn’t even uttered his first curse word. Side bar, for real, I didn’t start swearing until I was 16. For context, I grew up in a churched family, i.e., church on Sunday, bible study Tuesday, Kids group Wednesday, Teen night Thursday, Friday night pizza parties at “the Barn” or wherever else us kids went to get pizza. I attribute most of my innocence toward my upbringing. It was simple, albeit boring, but I was a teenager now and parents weren’t cool anymore. Let me rephrase, my parents weren’t cool anymore. Enter Antoinette and Randall Kowalski. Cool. The Kowalski’s trusted their kids and kid’s friends to be adults, make mistakes, and be there to catch us when we fall. Or at least, welcome us over for pancakes the next day to debrief our idiocy. It was so comforting to have adults now in my life who knew I was a dumb teenager, but still care enough to let me dip my toes into the real world and grown-up activities. That leads me to my favorite Randy Kowalski story. Cast party night at the Kowalski’s! Who doesn’t have a memory at the Kowalski house, between flooding the hot tub, late night piano sessions, movie marathons on the bean bags in the basement, spin the bottle in your office (sorry Toni, there was a lot of adolescent kisses in your house). Randy invited me, Michael Albert, and Phil Schultz to the garage. He hands us a glass of scotch, and a Fuente cigar. Now Randy went into this story about the Fuente family, I’d recall what he said, if my brain wasn’t yelling, “Oh no oh no we’re smoking and drinking alcohol what happened to me holy cannoli, oh jeez Randy’s looking at me be cool be cool this is normal hahahahahah”. I’m sure I made a face or something, and Mr. K looked at me and asked if I was okay. I said honestly, I’ve never smoked a cigar before or drank and didn’t know what I was doing. He assured me, it’s very easy. So began the “Cigar smoking Masterclass with special guest Randy”. Close throat, long draw, hold, taste, let go. Now these cigars were the kind that lasted an hour (2 for us babies) and we just sat out in the garage, talking about the future, life, Randy’s business and success, our lives, high school hopes, and college hopes. I felt seen, and heard. I saved the label from the cigar, as a little keepsake for the time I was rebellious, sure, but also a reminder to try new things, and enjoy everything in life. I respected him, and he helped shape me into the man I am today.
Tanner Cottrell
One winter while Michael and I were in college, we were hunting in Clare when Randy came up to join us. We stayed up late drinking and smoking cigars at the basement bar and at some point Randy went and got a bottle of whiskey. He poured Michael and I a shot which I immediately threw down the hatch. I looked at Randy and said “that was good!”. Randy’s face looked like he saw a ghost before he loudly informed me that the bottle was 25 years old. Once he explained how to properly drink expensive alcohol, he poured me another glass and we continued having a great night in Clare.
Tiddy
One of my favorite memories with your Dad was all of us “in-laws” hanging out together at family weddings while all the family photos were being taken. Your Dad, Uncle Pete, Uncle Johnny, Uncle Mark and myself would walk straight to the bar and do a shot together. This became our tradition, we would giggle, cheers and bottoms up.
Another memory that warms my heart is your Dad teaching me how to scuba dive. We all know it was his passion, but as he took me down on my first dive (and many more after) his level of calming patience was nothing like I have ever seen before. I also think the phrase ‘He would give you the shirt off his back” was coined after your Dad. He would do anything for others.
One of the best giggles I got out of your Dad was while I was walking around Loon Lake and we passed each other but he didn’t know until I walked past him because here he was with weights strapped on his arms and legs walking around the lake backwards.
Aunt Kellie
2009, Limousine to the Palace in Auburn Hills. Front row to see Bob Seger. What a show but the best part was Randy made sure that his family and my family were at this once in a lifetime event. Dressed in all black Randy is Johnny Cash at the Bob Seger show. Big smiles on a big man.
Maddy’s grad day, Randy gives me a bottle of scotch in a custom carved wooden box. Imagine my surprise, I’d never had a bottle of scotch that didn’t come in a paper bag. As I’m sure it’s figured, he and I polished off this bottle of golden nectar. I saved the wood box, I always will. That box belongs to me and Randy. I’ll never remember what kind of scotch was in that box. I’ll never forget who gave to me and who I drank it with. A man’s man.
Jeff Kinsella
I’ll never forget Randy complimenting my jazz solo at our dance competitions. I danced to “Black and Gold” and wore leggings, a bow-tie, and a top hat (lol). To hear his support for my gay ass, from such a masculine presence, meant the world to me as I was finding, and learning to love myself back then.
Cheers, Ditka.
Brett
You’ve probably heard the story of when your dad took a boy by the name of Christopher Rush scuba diving. This would have been around 1989/1990. Christopher Rush had Muscular Dystrophy. He spent his life confined to a wheel chair and securely strapped in as he had no control of his muscles. He was a remarkable boy with a ready smile and about 12 or 13 at the time. He was the poster child for the Muscular Dystrophy Association appearing on telethons, throwing the ceremonial pitches at major league baseball games, meeting President Reagan in the Oval Office and much more to raise awareness for MD.
Well, all of those great events would have been challenging undertakings given his significant limitations, but the one that was about to take place was going to happen on a boat and underwater. After six weeks of dive lessons with your dad at Jerry Rowe’s dive shop, Christopher and his parents came to GCM. Your dad was very patient, calm and enthusiastic throughout this unprecedented adventure.
We had a fairly large boat. Pete Sr. captained the boat, Jerry and your dad took charge of Christopher who had asked Peter to dive with him. The two boys were about the same age. Also, this whole event was going to be a human interest story on local Detroit news Channel 2. Joe Glover, the news anchorman was known for his dedication to raising awareness of muscular dystrophy and he was going to air this event. His videographer filmed everything including underwater and Joe narrated from the deck.
They started at the sand bar in 12-14’ of water, then went closer to the reef in slightly deeper water to experience sea life. Now this all sounds simple and smooth, but you have to remember that Christopher had to be moved carefully and safely in his wheelchair…getting in the water, under water, and getting back on the boat. Under water he had no control over his floating or even flailing arms and legs. When his mask slipped someone had to adjust it, when his regulator came loose someone had to secure it.
Christopher was the first certified scuba diver with muscular dystrophy – your dad coordinated and made the whole event happen. I think your dad was as excited as Christopher was.
Aunt Chris
Randy, Ditka, Mr. K, Mr. Kowalski, Uncle Randy… No matter what you called him, to have met him was to understand how truly legendary he actually was. A man who seemed larger than life from the stories told about him, was at heart incredibly humble and caring to those who were lucky enough to know him.
Growing up with the family, Randy was essentially a second father figure to me and every memory that I have with him brings a smile to my face. One that shows how caring Randy was when we took a trip to the Caymans as children. Randy, Michael and I went down a week early so we could go deep sea fishing before everyone else joined us. On the first day I realized that the sea did not agree with me and I had awful sea sickness that put me in bed under the boat, essentially missing that whole day of fishing. Randy was insistent on figuring out my sea legs so I could be catching fish the rest of the trip, so from that day forward he woke me up at what seemed like 4am with toast, orange juice and Dramamine for the sea sickness. I’d then fall back asleep while it kicked in and was thankfully good to go on the boat. He honestly had the biggest heart and it’s because of him and his willingness to make sure I’d be on that boat that I have some of my favorite memories I’ll carry with me always.
Another fan favorite of mine from a man who took his fitness very seriously was just how serious he took his cheat meals. I swear some weekends he would put on a pack filled with more weight than a human should carry and wander around the trails by foot for hours on end just so he could eat an entire pecan pie to himself and wash it down with a glass of port and a cigar.
From the countless Clare trips, hunt camps and nights in Plymouth I have spent with Randy around I can recall enough stories to write a book, and I know I’ll never forget the kindness he showed and life lessons I learned from him. To this day whenever I hear a John Denver song come on, see a George Carlin standup or simply take a trail ride in Clare, I know that he’s looking down with a big smile.
Carl Skonieczny
Kid Rock Birthday Concert, 2011. I’ll never forget when he got VIP tickets, but Paul LOST HIS TICKET while we were walking around downtown! We were devastated! Randy got on his phone (not sure who he was calling) to try and get another ticket! We ended up picking the ticket up out of the gutter… after a torrential rain! Paul looked down and there it was! Divine intervention! But your dad was NOT going to let a lost ticket stand in our way of a good time! He was going to make sure Paul got in! That was so important to him, that EVERYONE have a great time! Whether it was a Kid Rock concert or taking the blender on the pontoon boat to make mudslides, in Clare! He was a gem and shared his sparkle with everyone!
Amy & Paul
I first met Randy when he was a dive instructor. My sisters were actively diving and taking amazing vacations, so I decided to learn as well. Randy was full of life, fun & opinions. He loved people and was so friendly and “in your face!” I was never certified to dive because I discovered that I was terrified of being underwater, plus I became pregnant with my first baby.
Randy quickly began dating Toni and became part of our family. Their personalities were so different. I’ll never forget the white leather pants he wore and the orange corvette he drove. The first time he came over to take Toni out, I watched fascinated at how my parents reacted. They quietly took everything in and watched carefully as their relationship developed.
Our birthdays are a week apart and we often celebrated together.
In the early years, the late 1970’s, we frequently went out bar hopping together. Or to a nice dinner (I remember Bodega Steak House for prime rib and lemon drops at the bar). Before we had children we spent many weekends partying at our house or theirs. It was mostly our family but oftentimes included friends from childhood, the dive shop or Heritage Hospital where I worked. Randy frequently debated medical information with me. It drove me crazy because he would talk so loud and fast, then change the subject when he was finished.
We also went on adventures like ski trips and of course, dive trips. One of my funniest memories is at the top of a mountain in Aspen, we saw Martina Navratilova who is a world famous tennis player. She started flirting with me and Randy was all over that. He kept teasing me and encouraging me to talk to Martina. I of course was trying my best to hide out.
Another favorite memory was pulling up to Toni & Randy’s house on Gulley Rd. in Dearborn. I can’t recall why I was there but I remember distinctly walking up to the glass door and right in front of me is Randy— totally naked, ironing. Toni wasn’t home which I didn’t know. So I knocked and he waved to me and ran off to get some clothing on. He was so casual about nudity, another totally opposite trait from my sister! I can close my eyes and see this scene like it just happened.
On a ski trip to Boyne, one winter, Randy took a fall and broke his nose. I was horrified watching him use both hands on his nose trying to get the bone back in place. He wasn’t the least bit disturbed by this injury.
We took a business trip to Germany in the mid 1980’s. Toni & I were talking with the concierge who was being especially friendly when Randy and Uncle John walked up behind us. All of a sudden the concierge’s eyes got very big and he stopped talking. Compared to the German man, they must have looked like giant body guards!
The days of Randy flying around in Clare are legendary. I truly have never met anyone else that did this. But on the ground he was entertaining as well. One day he was driving me home in an open top jeep. As we were going in between the lake and the pond, he dropped his phone on the floor and began swerving back and forth trying to pick it up, which of course made everything on the dashboard and console slide sideways. I was laughing and laughing as he kept trying to catch flying objects, while still swerving and driving, and he looked at me like I was very weird. So I thanked him for the funny ride home. Again I can see this event like it happened yesterday.
I loved Randy for many reasons, he passionately loved my sister & his children, he was dedicated to whatever he committed to, his loud laugh always lightened up the room, he showed me that being different was just fine with him, his heart was enormous, life presented no limitations through his eyes. He always flirted with me and told me he only married Toni to get close to her sisters, he gave a great shoulder massage.
We talked many times about taking a trip to Australia. I’m sure I would’ve been touring on land and he would’ve been underwater with Toni. I’m also sure we would’ve had a lot of fun. So I think about that a lot, as we never got to take that trip. My health was not great and he began struggling too. So I travel in my mind and see his big smile and encouraging way. Such a sweet man who made all of us up our game by showing us how to push ourselves just a little bit more…..
Aunt Janette
One of my favorite memories of Randy was actually a repeated occurrence. I would come over to the house after school to hang out with marisa and the series of events went like this:
I’d let myself into the house (ofcourse) and typically bark out a shrill “hellOOOOoo” (ofcourse). Then I’d wander around the kitchen before eventually making my way upstairs to Marisas room. And somewhere between the kitchen and the piano/living room, I’d cross the gym. And there Randy would be, either topless or wearing a sweaty tank top and the tiniest pair of shorts you ever did see on a dad, pumping some IRON. Sometimes I would say “Hello!!” and he wouldnt hear me so I’d scurry off. However, on some lucky occasions, he’d see me and howl out a “HEY HONEY! HOW ARE YA?” with his larger than life barrel voice. A voice that one only acquires after years of asking yourself “why is everyone whispering?”. I suspect years and years of being a seasoned diver were also a contributing factor, but I digress.
In those moments, it was as if Randy and I had this wonderful unspoken understanding and shared experience; While I’ve never once put an oxygen mask on my face and couldnt tell you one basic principle of diving, I too often wondered “why is everyone whispering?”
Our exchange was predictable after that, “im great! how are you?” etc. but it never ever failed to make me laugh and smile. Much like his voice and tiny shorts, his presence and candor was joyfully startling, gregarious and always made you laugh and smile.
Maddy Kinsella
It all started one weekend when Kathy and I came to Clare. Randy had just bought a new bow and he offered his old bow to me. Mind you giving it to a person that has no idea of bow shooting or hunting. I thanked Randy and started to shoot at a range at home. Thought, this bow shooting is a bitch, couldn’t figure out why every time I went I came back with welts on my forearm. Until after a few months a man asked me if I knew that I was shooting a right hand bow, left handed!!!!!! Ok Randy or I didn’t know I would be ambidextrous shooting a bow. A left handed bow was bought but a small little man was in the mix. Yes my son Brandon. To make a long memory short, I bought him a beginning bow and him and I started to shoot. Randy invited myself and Brandon to come to Clare and bow hunt for our 1st time. We came up settled in and Randy drove us out to our blind to hunt in the morning. It was called the father son blind and it was if I remember right on the south east corner of the property. Mind you Brandon climbed right up I said I will go in the morning. Trying to be the big man, I get nervous on a step ladder. We hunted the morning with a coyote chasing our vehicle to the stand, so foggy we couldn’t see our hands in front of our face. Found the stand and hunted the morning saw a few small does, I told Brandon, too small to shoot. We went back to the house after and Randy said shoot because a lot won’t make it through winter. That’s all my son had to hear!! So the afternoon hunt started and I decided to sit and rest, halfway falling asleep I see Brandon standing up at full draw and let his arrow go. It wasn’t the best shot ever but we tracked that deer for about 2 hours almost giving up. Eventually we found her and I remember Brandon kneeling down beside her, petting her with tears running from his eyes. He said look how small she is. Randy and I both said don’t you dare cry, because you probably saved this deer from a very unpleasant death, through the winter. Randy helped with the process of the deer and everything was good now. I remember how happy Brandon was. But another thing happened that I wasn’t even thinking about, because of this, it became an obsession! And because of that hunting experience, Randy and the Kowalski family gave me so many precious memories that I hold dear to my heart everyday. So I thank you Randy and everyone this holiday season for giving my son and I some of the best times of my life. Even though he’s not with me those memories are burned into my heart. Randy and I had many other moments but as you can see this had to be by far my favorite.
Barry Demko
The first time Randy picked me up from the airport in Caymans to take me to your house it was at night and dark. He told me, “see these big crabs running across the road? Well, unfortunately you have some in the room you will be sleeping in, there was a hole in the screen and we haven’t been able to get it fixed yet.” Well I bought that trick/joke hook, line and sinker when we got there the house and my room were beautiful, plus my room’s screen door was intact no crabs and there never were… except for the little hermit crabs that ran outside.
Jacqui
Cayman Islands, sometime around 2011. Dad and I took the boat out just before sunset for a night dive. After anchoring we triple checked our gear, rubbed our masks down with toothpaste, and hung the strobe lights from the bottom of the boat. We descended at sunset and the dive was perfect. At night, the ocean truly comes to life. It’s one big bioluminescent light show – the big fish come out to play, the coral almost sparkles, and you get to experience how small and powerless we truly are in comparison to Mother Nature. I would hold onto the back of his tank, attentively scanning the ocean. I always felt invincible when I was with him. He had that affect on people. We started to circle our way back and I could tell something was off. Somehow the strobe lights hanging from the bottom of the boat flooded and even the secondary safety light had turned off. Instead of panicking we both looked at each other and started to laugh. We were in the middle of the ocean at night, nearing the end of air in our tanks, looking for our boat that had no lights… cracking up and smiling. Ditka had a special gift of replacing panic with laughter, making plan B and C way more fun than plan A, and always with a big grin on his face that could magically calm anyone’s nerves.
Marisa Kowalski
Remembering your Dad’s spirit, I have thought long and hard and it all comes down to your Dads generosity and his passion to help people. Especially those who are physically or mentally challenged. His sponsorships have helped many over the years. I know this first hand. He always allowed me to do whatever I needed to do with the Michigan Special Olympics which my son Andrew was a participant. I believe the smiles he brought to so many is the one thing I will cherish and love about him the most. I miss as I would miss my own brother because your Dad is a brother to me. I know this very sentimental and may not be exactly what you were looking for but its from the heart.
Patrick Smerecki
First of all, I always remember him smiling. Full red cheeks and a wide smile, always in host mode. Most notably I remember the way he would sneak off to the garage with me and the football guys to take a breath from the party and talk cigars and whiskey- and he made me feel COOL. Like one of “the guys” when I didn’t often get a chance to feel that way in high school. He was also really direct when he told me how much he believed in me and how much he loved watching us on stage. It always made what we were doing feel important whenever it felt frustrating, monotonous, or just plain BAD (LOL). So many magnetic qualities that definitely stick with me from even over a decade ago.
Michael Albert
It was one of our fun adult weekends in Clare. We were all out on the lake, having a wonderful time with several of our friends. I remember Jack & Lynn, Teri & Greg, Amy & Paul, Diane and I floating and having cocktails. We floated up to the Ski Lodge and your dad came walking down the path with a tray full of mudslides, a cigar in his mouth and that grin of his that I’ll always remember. I don’t remember much after that because that is what happened after a couple of randy mudslides.
Stories & Stogies 